Secrets
by 101spacemonkey
Summary: Ryan has a secret, can the team save him, especially as their inaction has caused some of the damage?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI Miami.

**A/N:** I'm off sick at the minute, so I'm trying to update and add new stories!

Stetler grinned while Horatio kept a calm composure.

Horatio rubbed a hand across his forehead, it was hard to be so calm when the man who had caused so much heartache was grinning and couldn't see what he had done wrong.

'He did it for you, you know?'

Horatio looked up again, staring into Stetlers eyes.

'Your team didn't accept him when he first came, and yet he was so loyal to you guys, loyal to a fault. All I had to do was threaten to expose dirt about you and claim he was my mole and he crumbled, he was mine. He didn't want you to hate him any more than you did. You see, I'd been watching, just waiting for something to happen that I could use to my advantage and you handed it to me on a plate'

Horatio stayed silent, but could feel the tension in the room ricochet up as Eric behind him was obviously doing his best to restrain himself.

'He did it all to protect you lot, and you still treated him badly. That just made it easier; who could poor old Ryan go to? His team hated him; you wouldn't give him the time of day. I was amazed at how little you noticed the change in him, how he started to wear suits, look professional, all those long sleeves...' he let himself trail off, waiting to see something flair in either of the other men's eyes but was disappointed when Horatios face still stayed eerily calm.

'I suppose you didn't know his background either then? It was only after I started to have my fun with him that I discovered his past history, I just thought he was frigid, never really that pliable, and yet he did as I asked. I used to leave it till the end of his shift just in case he needed a little extra encouragement, couldn't have him going out in the field doped up, now could I?'

'You son of a...'

'Eric' warned Horatio glancing behind him to where Eric was looking fit to burst.

'I'm fine, I'm fine...' replied Eric.

All the while Rick sat back and watched the exchange a small smile curving his lips.

'Of course...' he continued, 'I had to fix some test results when it came to Ryan... I didn't want the truth to be found out, but when you came to my room that day Horatio, I just couldn't resist letting you in on the dirty little secret. Ryan was so upset when you found out, when you just walked away telling him you wanted to see him later. He thought you believed it to be consensual, that you would tell him off for a work place romance, I told him you knew all about the arrangement and that you used him as a bargaining tool to keep me quiet, he was terrified of having to see you. When he left my office he headed straight for the bathrooms, I knew what he was going to do, but he's been doing it for so long that it wasn't my place to act. I knew my secret was going to be exposed, but then I wanted to see your face, I wanted to see you hurt. Ryan may not have seen it, but you care for your team, everyone on your team. You know when Ryan was suspended, it wasn't his fault, not really, I had made him do my dirty work. It hurt him so much when he got in trouble; he tried to put on a brave face, but when I had my way with him the marks of his upset were crisscrossed all over him. Your little Ryan has a problem...' he laughed, 'and it wasn't the first time he had had this problem, I suppose I just brought back bad memories.

Horatio signalled an officer to come into the interview room and take Rick away. Once Rick was gone, he tuned to Eric.

'H, he... How could he... Did we do this to Ryan?'

'We didn't, Rick did, now we have to pick up the pieces.'

**A/N:** Please review, as reviews are love! Also what would you like to see next?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI: Miami or any part of the CSI Franchise

**A/N:** First off... ***Trigger Warning*** be warned there is a graphic description of Self Injury in this chapter, don't read if you are easily triggered. Secondly... Sorry for the wait, as with most of my fics, my updating can be varied...

Ryan ran to the bathroom, locking himself in a cubicle as his thoughts swirled through his head, 'this can't be happening'

Delving into his pocket he removed his wallet and slowly opened it as an object shined in protest to the light.

A double edged razor blade.

Just seeing it made him feel better, calmer. He pulled down the toilet seat and sat down, staring at the blade as earlier events played before him on its smooth surface.

XXXXXXXXXX

There was a knock at the door, Ryan felt his heart skip a beat and then stop as Rick yelled, 'Come in!'

Ryan tried to move away from Rick but every move felt un-coordinated and Rick simply pulled him back towards him and he fell into Ricks waiting arms. The door opened and Ryan watched in horror as Horatio walked in, glancing down so as to not see the look of disgust, he looked up to see an expression of shock dance across his features before being replaced with a cold look.

'Ryan, I want to see you in my office later.' Ryan winced at the tone Horatio used; it had left no room for disagreement. Horatio then turned and left the room.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ryan slowly emerged from his reverie, his heart aching, everything was coming undone; it was all crumbling before him. If Rick was telling the truth, the Horatio knew and was using him to keep Rick quiet; if he was lying then Horatio would hate him after what he saw.

Standing up and fighting the fear he felt rising he placed his wallet on the toilet seat removing the blade as he rolled up his sleeve on his left arm, placing the palm of his left hand on the bathroom wall as he leaned forward raising the blade and striking it down on his flesh in three quick consecutive strikes, all the while keeping his eyes closed.

Opening his eyes slowly, he watched from experience as the gap made between his flesh showed. Its smooth edges tinged red as the surrounding skin glowed pink. Slowly blood started to ooze from the cuts pooling in small circles, while the others seemed more leisurely in oozing.

Setting the blade down on his open wallet, he grabbed some toilet roll and folded some into a small rectangle and held it over the wounds, allowing it to stain red in a pattern of lines and blobs. Turning the paper over, he once again watched as blood returned to the surface and he placed the paper on the cuts again and watched as the pattern was made ever more complicated and intricate.

Placing the blade firmly back into its slot in his wallet, he removed the paper that was now stuck to him, ignoring the dried blood that now lay in small circles in places. Rolling down his sleeve he pulled out his cell phone.

'Uncle Ron'

'Oh, hey Kiddo!'

'Could you pick me up from work, I'm not feeling to well so I'm taking the day off and I need a lift as I don't feel well enough to drive'

'No problem, I'm at the back at the minute, I'll be about five minutes'

'Thanks'

'No worries see you soon'

Ryan opened the door to the bathroom and chanced a look around in case Horatio was there; taking a deep breath he composed himself and calmly made his way outside.

XXXXXXXXXX

The wait for Ron was immense, each minute seemed to last forever and he fidgeted with his phone, debating the merit of calling him.

'Hey, Ryan, Over here!' came a familiar voice.

Ryan looked over to see Ron sitting with the window of his Impala rolled down and waving to him, he meekly waved back and headed over to his uncle.

Getting into the car, he allowed himself to relax into the seat, closing his eyes.

'You don't look well at all Ryan, Ryan?'

Ryan didn't respond, so Ron reached over and grabbed onto his left arm, his hand felt damp so he pulled away, 'Ryan?' he asked again this time much more concerned,

'Hmmm?'

'Ryan, open your eyes for me?'

Ryan opened his eyes and turned his head to his left to look at this uncle.

'Ryan you don't look well at all, your perspiring, and… and there's blood on your arm…'

Ron watched as Ryan's eyes widened but it was a brief moment as Ryan then slumped forward his eyes closed.

'Ryan? Ryan?'

Ron looked over at his unconscious nephew and leapt from his car running into the Miami Dade Police Department, calling out for help.

He looked around at all the faces and the receptionist who was now on the phone calling 911.

Finally his eyes settled on the face of Horatio Caine and his mind flared with recognition of Ryan's boss.

'Horatio, its Ryan! He collapsed in my car!'

Horatio stared for a second at the man in front of him, until he decided to hazard a guess as to the man's identity.

'Ron?'

'Yes, Ryan… he called me and I came to give him a lift home… he wasn't feeling well… Oh God I left him in the car…'

'Call a Bus!' Horatio yelled as he followed Ron outside to the car.

As Ron opened the passenger door, Ryan slumped out, only held in my his seatbelt.

Ron grabbed onto Ryan's face, 'Ryan, come on… talk to me, open your eyes!'

Horatio pulled Ron away and unbuckled Ryan from the seat and laid him on the ground checking Ryan's breathing and circulation. Noting that Ryan was breathing comfortably he placed Ryan in the recovery position.

Seeing the blood on Ryan's sleeve, he pulled it up to reveal three raw looking cuts.

'Oh Lord, I-I forgot… when I reached over to him I felt dampness… I saw the blood but I forgot… when he collapsed.' Ron stammered as he watched Horatio.

Horatio frowned at what he saw and made a mental note, he looked up at the sound of approaching sirens, standing up to wave over the ambulance.

XXXXXXXXXX

One of the paramedics turned around after the gurney with Ryan on had been loaded into the ambulance, 'Anyone riding with...?'

Horatio pushed forward a still dazed Ron, 'Yes, this man will, he is Ryan's Uncle.'

The paramedic nodded in Horatio's direction and motioned for Ron to enter. 'Ron? I'll meet you there; I'll be behind in the Hummer.'

Horatio watched as the Ambulance pulled away with the sirens blaring and lights blazing. Pulling out his cell phone he called the rest of the team.

**A/N:** Please review, as reviews are love!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI: Miami

**A/N:** Its been a while... Sorry! Exams are starting but I'll try and keep this fic going as I do quite like it. :)

Arriving at the hospital just after the ambulance he saw the gurney being pulled out with it being wheeled quickly into the hospital with Ron running off after it.

He parked quickly with the Hummer taking up a lot of space on the pavement, and leapt out running in through the door after Ryan and Ron, looking over to where the gurney was being wheeled off he saw Alexx appear as she was running over to the Nurses Station.

'Alexx' Horatio called over, she turned immediately, 'they said someone was coming in that it was a member of your team, that you had it called in, who... who is it?' she asked almost hesitating on her question.

'It's Ryan, It's a long story but Stetler is involved'

'Rick? What did he do to my baby?'

'I don't know. I don't know if he has done anything. I walked in on him and Ryan and...'

'Horatio, what happened?'

'I walked in on the pair of them in a compromising position, I asked Ryan to see me later, and then this happened'

'Horatio, what is this?'

'he left work without speaking to me, his Uncle picked him up, but then he just collapsed, there was blood, I checked him over and there were cuts on his arm, they looked self-inflicted, but not bad enough for him to collapse...'

'Something else has to be at play her, let me go and I'll get back to you, I've got to see my baby'.

Watching as Alexx headed off he saw Ron walking back towards him, waving him over the pair made their way to some seats.

Horatio decided to break the silence, worry for one of his team members preventing the silence from falling into a comfortable state.

'How is he?'

'I don't know, they started using all that language they use, that fancy medical nonsense, but I'm not stupid, they were talking about drugs in his system. I couldn't follow him any further after that. Ryan wouldn't touch drugs, I know him, they have to have it wrong, and something else has to be at play here.'

'I think I might be able to hazard a guess'

Ron looked up at that and saw Horatio lean forward fiddling with the sunglasses in his hands.

'I walked in on Ryan with Rick Stetler today, they were in a somewhat compromising position, and I asked Ryan to see me later in my office. Maybe I should have dealt with it differently.'

'What did you say to him?' responded Ron, flying out of his chair as a rage took hold.

'I didn't, he never made it to my office.'

'Wait did you say Rick Stetler? Ryan hates him, Ryan wouldn't go anywhere near the guy, he said he reminds him too much of...'

'Of what?'

'I can't say, but Ryan couldn't have been in a compromising position with him, he isn't gay! Hell he doesn't even do relationships, never has and he isn't about to just throw himself at someone.'

'You can never be sure about these things, but I know what I saw'

'No, you think you know what you saw... I think you should leave now Lieutenant'

'If that is what you want, but I wish to be kept informed about Ryan.'

'I'll see if he wants you to know anything, but you should look into Rick Stetler, he's up to his neck in this'

Horatio left the hospital a sinking feeling turning his stomach, calling Eric he arranged to have Stetler brought to an interrogation room, as he couldn't ask Ryan what was going on, He would ask Stetler.

**A/N:** Please review, as reviews are love!


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